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In the beginning, before God
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Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
2017-01-05 06:18:38 UTC
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There was an egg in the middle of empty space and God came out of it saying, "Sorry, where am I?" But there was no answer because he was alone. And he added "I better get to work because this is boring."

And he created the Devil in order to have someone to play chess with. That's how the Universe was created and Satan came to hate God because he always lost. Then he took revenge with Adam & Eve.

The rest you find in the Bible.

-----------------------------------

"Are you ready for the jungle?"

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nffbCR_uCZ6znjf3gLiFRXSAoLzhWtoZ6U4S7Y37aKc/edit?usp=sharing
Malcolm McMahon
2017-01-05 10:10:37 UTC
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Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
There was an egg in the middle of empty space and God came out of it saying, "Sorry, where am I?" But there was no answer because he was alone. And he added "I better get to work because this is boring."
And he created the Devil in order to have someone to play chess with. That's how the Universe was created and Satan came to hate God because he always lost. Then he took revenge with Adam & Eve.
The rest you find in the Bible.
So what laid the egg?

Isn't this a classic "Chicken and egg" situation.
Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
2017-01-05 15:38:11 UTC
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Post by Malcolm McMahon
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
There was an egg in the middle of empty space and God came out of it saying, "Sorry, where am I?" But there was no answer because he was alone. And he added "I better get to work because this is boring."
And he created the Devil in order to have someone to play chess with. That's how the Universe was created and Satan came to hate God because he always lost. Then he took revenge with Adam & Eve.
The rest you find in the Bible.
So what laid the egg?
Isn't this a classic "Chicken and egg" situation.
Yes, it's been settled. The egg was first.

Now we must worship the egg. Where it came from is a mystery.
R. Dean
2017-01-05 19:25:57 UTC
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Post by Malcolm McMahon
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
There was an egg in the middle of empty space and God came out of it saying, "Sorry, where am I?" But there was no answer because he was alone. And he added "I better get to work because this is boring."
And he created the Devil in order to have someone to play chess with. That's how the Universe was created and Satan came to hate God because he always lost. Then he took revenge with Adam & Eve.
The rest you find in the Bible.
So what laid the egg?
<
A giant chicken, what else"
Post by Malcolm McMahon
Isn't this a classic "Chicken and egg" situation.
No, the giant chicken came first.
Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
2017-01-05 19:36:12 UTC
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Post by R. Dean
Post by Malcolm McMahon
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
The rest you find in the Bible.
So what laid the egg?
<
A giant chicken, what else"
A dinosaur.
Post by R. Dean
Post by Malcolm McMahon
Isn't this a classic "Chicken and egg" situation.
No, the giant chicken came first.
It could have been the dinosaur. He laid the egg.
Siri Cruise
2017-01-05 19:45:04 UTC
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Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
Post by R. Dean
On Thursday, 5 January 2017 06:18:40 UTC, Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
The rest you find in the Bible.
So what laid the egg?
<
A giant chicken, what else"
A dinosaur.
Post by R. Dean
Isn't this a classic "Chicken and egg" situation.
No, the giant chicken came first.
It could have been the dinosaur. He laid the egg.
Sounds: The [previous] line merges with a rolling of thunder. Wolves howl.

Voice Of God: Before the Beginning there was this Turtle. And the Turtle was
alone. And he looked around, and he saw his neighbor, which was his Mother. And
he lay down on top of his neighbor, and behold, she bore him in tears, an oak
tree. Which grew all day, and then fell over, like a bridge. And lo, under the
bridge there came a Catfish, and he was very big, and he was walking, and he was
the biggest he had seen. [Fading] And so were the fiery balls of this fish, one
of which is the Sun, and the other, they called the Moon


Expert Voice: Yes, some uncomplicated peoples still believe this myth. But here,
in the technical vastness of the Future, we can guess that surely the Past was
very different. We can surmise, for instance, that these two great balls
 [Cross
fading]

Dr. Technical [fading up]: We know for certain, for instance, that for some
reason, for some time in the beginning, there were hot lumps. Cold and lonely,
they whirled noiselessly through the black holes of space. Those insignificant
lumps came together to form the first union—our Sun, the heating system. And
about this glowing gasbag rotated the Earth, a cat's-eye among aggies, blinking
in astonishment across the Face of Time

--
:-<> Siri Seal of Disavowal #000-001. Disavowed. Denied. Deleted.
'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'
Free the Amos Yee one.
Yeah, too bad about your so-called life. Ha-ha.
Kadaitcha Man
2017-01-05 22:53:30 UTC
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R. Dean" <"R. Dean, how three-chinned and alcoholic art thou. Ye
Post by R. Dean
On Thursday, 5 January 2017 06:18:40 UTC, Wise TibetanMonkey, Most
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
There was an egg in the middle of empty space and God came out of it
saying, "Sorry, where am I?" But there was no answer because he was
alone. And he added "I better get to work because this is boring."
And he created the Devil in order to have someone to play chess with.
That's how the Universe was created and Satan came to hate God
because he always lost. Then he took revenge with Adam & Eve.
The rest you find in the Bible.
So what laid the egg?
<
A giant chicken, what else"
Isn't this a classic "Chicken and egg" situation.
No, the giant chicken came first.
The rooster came first.
--
Winner January 2017, Barbara Woodhouse Memorial Dog-Whistle Award as
trainer of Paul "Two Socks" Derbyshire and his two brown-nosing
sockpuppets, Nadegda & kensi.

<news:o4g0np$1gri$***@gioia.aioe.org>
Paul "Two Socks" Derbyshire admits spending hours attempting to decipher
randomly typed gibberish.
Siri Cruise
2017-01-06 00:16:02 UTC
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Post by Kadaitcha Man
R. Dean" <"R. Dean, how three-chinned and alcoholic art thou. Ye
Post by R. Dean
On Thursday, 5 January 2017 06:18:40 UTC, Wise TibetanMonkey, Most
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
There was an egg in the middle of empty space and God came out of it
saying, "Sorry, where am I?" But there was no answer because he was
alone. And he added "I better get to work because this is boring."
And he created the Devil in order to have someone to play chess with.
That's how the Universe was created and Satan came to hate God
because he always lost. Then he took revenge with Adam & Eve.
The rest you find in the Bible.
So what laid the egg?
<
A giant chicken, what else"
Isn't this a classic "Chicken and egg" situation.
No, the giant chicken came first.
The rooster came first.
A cock in the hand is worth two in the shrubs?
--
:-<> Siri Seal of Disavowal #000-001. Disavowed. Denied. Deleted.
'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'
Free the Amos Yee one.
Yeah, too bad about your so-called life. Ha-ha.
Kadaitcha Man
2017-01-06 02:00:50 UTC
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Siri Cruise, thy breath stinks with eating toasted cheese. Ye viperous
Post by Siri Cruise
Post by Kadaitcha Man
R. Dean" <"R. Dean, how three-chinned and alcoholic art thou. Ye
Post by R. Dean
On Thursday, 5 January 2017 06:18:40 UTC, Wise TibetanMonkey, Most
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
There was an egg in the middle of empty space and God came out of it
saying, "Sorry, where am I?" But there was no answer because he was
alone. And he added "I better get to work because this is boring."
And he created the Devil in order to have someone to play chess with.
That's how the Universe was created and Satan came to hate God
because he always lost. Then he took revenge with Adam & Eve.
The rest you find in the Bible.
So what laid the egg?
<
A giant chicken, what else"
Isn't this a classic "Chicken and egg" situation.
No, the giant chicken came first.
The rooster came first.
A cock in the hand is worth two in the shrubs?
lol
--
Winner January 2017, Barbara Woodhouse Memorial Dog-Whistle Award as
trainer of Paul "Two Socks" Derbyshire and his two brown-nosing
sockpuppets, Nadegda & kensi.

<news:o4g0np$1gri$***@gioia.aioe.org>
Paul "Two Socks" Derbyshire admits spending hours attempting to decipher
randomly typed gibberish.
Deng Qi Feng
2017-01-06 06:14:44 UTC
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Rooster came before chicken and egg.
Rooster is alpha and omega. Next year is Chinese year of the rooster.

Hence next year is...I don't give a shit. First of all every time a new emperor shows up in china the order of the Chinese zodiac changes along with years of history go missing while the new emperor figures out law and order.

I have no idea how many years of history any country has for I was only alive 38 years last time I checked if I did not witness it how can I prove it happened?

What came before Rooster? The Big cuckoo?

Also one more thing...somehow I have made a few folks say a few colorful things to me so I am guessing I am saying enough wise fortune cookie sayings to get a few folks jealous enough for them to diss me or trash me.

That means I am successful at pissing folks off.

Common sense is not common any more.

But one thing is for sure, if you curse me you got guts, lots of idiots out there too afraid to offend.

I am looking for folks with enough guts and balls to not be brainwashed by propaganda.

My belief is I rather see a riot than a compliant public willing to let us all obey government to the point we become slaves.

I thank god by wanking 5 times to the north to salute all those tactless folks protecting our right to free speech

Fuck me with words not your 14 inch cocks

Sticks and stones will kill me but words only kill faggots
Siri Cruise
2017-01-05 11:14:05 UTC
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Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
There was an egg in the middle of empty space and God came out of it saying,
"Sorry, where am I?" But there was no answer because he was alone. And he
added "I better get to work because this is boring."
And he created the Devil in order to have someone to play chess with. That's
how the Universe was created and Satan came to hate God because he always
lost. Then he took revenge with Adam & Eve.
Dunsany wrote this story better.
--
:-<> Siri Seal of Disavowal #000-001. Disavowed. Denied. Deleted.
'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'
Free the Amos Yee one.
Yeah, too bad about your so-called life. Ha-ha.
Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
2017-01-05 15:29:41 UTC
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Post by Siri Cruise
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
There was an egg in the middle of empty space and God came out of it saying,
"Sorry, where am I?" But there was no answer because he was alone. And he
added "I better get to work because this is boring."
And he created the Devil in order to have someone to play chess with. That's
how the Universe was created and Satan came to hate God because he always
lost. Then he took revenge with Adam & Eve.
Dunsany wrote this story better.
Let me hear it, please!

I swear mine was divine inspiration.
Malcolm McMahon
2017-01-05 16:06:05 UTC
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Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
Post by Siri Cruise
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
There was an egg in the middle of empty space and God came out of it saying,
"Sorry, where am I?" But there was no answer because he was alone. And he
added "I better get to work because this is boring."
And he created the Devil in order to have someone to play chess with. That's
how the Universe was created and Satan came to hate God because he always
lost. Then he took revenge with Adam & Eve.
Dunsany wrote this story better.
Let me hear it, please!
I swear mine was divine inspiration.
In summary:

In the beginning MANA YOG SOTHOTH created the world, and many lessor gods. Then he fell asleep from his labours.

To MANA YOG SOTHOTH it is forbidden to pray, because the lessor gods fear that, when he wakes up, he will abolish them, and the world and try something else.

(This is from a rather strange little book called "Beyond the Fields We Know", which I recommend. He also wrote "The King of Elfland's Daughter" a curious, lyrical story and "The Curse of the Wise Woman" amongst others).
Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
2017-01-05 16:12:06 UTC
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Post by Malcolm McMahon
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
Post by Siri Cruise
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
There was an egg in the middle of empty space and God came out of it saying,
"Sorry, where am I?" But there was no answer because he was alone. And he
added "I better get to work because this is boring."
And he created the Devil in order to have someone to play chess with. That's
how the Universe was created and Satan came to hate God because he always
lost. Then he took revenge with Adam & Eve.
Dunsany wrote this story better.
Let me hear it, please!
I swear mine was divine inspiration.
In the beginning MANA YOG SOTHOTH created the world, and many lessor gods. Then he fell asleep from his labours.
To MANA YOG SOTHOTH it is forbidden to pray, because the lessor gods fear that, when he wakes up, he will abolish them, and the world and try something else.
(This is from a rather strange little book called "Beyond the Fields We Know", which I recommend. He also wrote "The King of Elfland's Daughter" a curious, lyrical story and "The Curse of the Wise Woman" amongst others).
Sleep? Maybe he's dead and now there will be struggle for power among the lesser gods.

It's better not to take sides till we see a clear winner.
Malcolm McMahon
2017-01-05 16:23:30 UTC
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Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
Post by Malcolm McMahon
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
Post by Siri Cruise
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
There was an egg in the middle of empty space and God came out of it saying,
"Sorry, where am I?" But there was no answer because he was alone. And he
added "I better get to work because this is boring."
And he created the Devil in order to have someone to play chess with. That's
how the Universe was created and Satan came to hate God because he always
lost. Then he took revenge with Adam & Eve.
Dunsany wrote this story better.
Let me hear it, please!
I swear mine was divine inspiration.
In the beginning MANA YOG SOTHOTH created the world, and many lessor gods. Then he fell asleep from his labours.
To MANA YOG SOTHOTH it is forbidden to pray, because the lessor gods fear that, when he wakes up, he will abolish them, and the world and try something else.
(This is from a rather strange little book called "Beyond the Fields We Know", which I recommend. He also wrote "The King of Elfland's Daughter" a curious, lyrical story and "The Curse of the Wise Woman" amongst others).
Sleep? Maybe he's dead and now there will be struggle for power among the lesser gods.
It's better not to take sides till we see a clear winner.
Actually, I just checked the Wiki and it's MANA YOOD SUSHIA. If this sounds a bit Lovecraftian, that's probably because Lovecraft was a fan of Lord Dunsaney.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gods_of_Peg%C4%81na
Christopher A. Lee
2017-01-05 16:20:46 UTC
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On Thu, 5 Jan 2017 08:06:05 -0800 (PST), Malcolm McMahon
Post by Malcolm McMahon
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
Post by Siri Cruise
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
There was an egg in the middle of empty space and God came out of it saying,
"Sorry, where am I?" But there was no answer because he was alone. And he
added "I better get to work because this is boring."
And he created the Devil in order to have someone to play chess with. That's
how the Universe was created and Satan came to hate God because he always
lost. Then he took revenge with Adam & Eve.
Dunsany wrote this story better.
Let me hear it, please!
I swear mine was divine inspiration.
In the beginning MANA YOG SOTHOTH created the world, and many
lessor gods. Then he fell asleep from his labours.
To MANA YOG SOTHOTH it is forbidden to pray, because the lessor gods
fear that, when he wakes up, he will abolish them, and the world and try
something else.
(This is from a rather strange little book called "Beyond the Fields We Know",
which I recommend. He also wrote "The King of Elfland's Daughter" a curious,
lyrical story and "The Curse of the Wise Woman" amongst others).
:-)
Siri Cruise
2017-01-05 16:28:49 UTC
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On Thursday, 5 January 2017 15:29:43 UTC, Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
"Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher"
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
There was an egg in the middle of empty space and God came out of it saying,
"Sorry, where am I?" But there was no answer because he was alone. And he
added "I better get to work because this is boring."
And he created the Devil in order to have someone to play chess with. That's
how the Universe was created and Satan came to hate God because he always
lost. Then he took revenge with Adam & Eve.
Dunsany wrote this story better.
Let me hear it, please!
I swear mine was divine inspiration.
In the beginning MANA YOG SOTHOTH created the world, and many lessor gods.
Then he fell asleep from his labours.
To MANA YOG SOTHOTH it is forbidden to pray, because the lessor gods fear
that, when he wakes up, he will abolish them, and the world and try something
else.
(This is from a rather strange little book called "Beyond the Fields We
Know", which I recommend. He also wrote "The King of Elfland's Daughter" a
curious, lyrical story and "The Curse of the Wise Woman" amongst others).
I think all his work is now public domain. Much/all is available on the internet.
--
:-<> Siri Seal of Disavowal #000-001. Disavowed. Denied. Deleted.
'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'
Free the Amos Yee one.
Yeah, too bad about your so-called life. Ha-ha.
duke
2017-01-05 19:28:36 UTC
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On Wed, 4 Jan 2017 22:18:38 -0800 (PST), "Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
There was an egg in the middle of empty space and God came out of it saying, "Sorry, where am I?" But there was no answer because he was alone. And he added "I better get to work because this is boring."
No, there wasn't.

the dukester, American-American

*****
"The Mass is the most perfect form of Prayer."
Pope Paul VI
*****
John Locke
2017-01-05 20:26:16 UTC
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Post by duke
On Wed, 4 Jan 2017 22:18:38 -0800 (PST), "Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
There was an egg in the middle of empty space and God came out of it saying, "Sorry, where am I?" But there was no answer because he was alone. And he added "I better get to work because this is boring."
No, there wasn't.
....of course not. Actually, you and all the matter in the universe is
just residual garbage left over from the equalizing effects of a
quantum fluctuation in an unstable sector of a quantum void.
God
2017-01-05 23:01:19 UTC
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Post by duke
On Wed, 4 Jan 2017 22:18:38 -0800 (PST), "Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
There was an egg in the middle of empty space and God came out of it saying, "Sorry, where am I?" But there was no answer because he was alone. And he added "I better get to work because this is boring."
No, there wasn't.
Well, not literally. I didn't come out of an egg, I woke up. The rest of
it is fairly well spot on.
Malcolm McMahon
2017-01-06 08:02:56 UTC
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Post by duke
On Wed, 4 Jan 2017 22:18:38 -0800 (PST), "Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble
Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
There was an egg in the middle of empty space and God came out of it saying, "Sorry, where am I?" But there was no answer because he was alone. And he added "I better get to work because this is boring."
No, there wasn't.
Prove it - egg atheist.
Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
2017-01-06 13:38:58 UTC
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If someone laid an egg, sex was already invented, even if it was only
so they could make bad jokes about it.
Chicken lay eggs without sex, don't they?
I do find it suspicious that a sexless god chose sex for reproduction.

He's weird, really weird. 😐
Deng Qi Feng
2017-01-06 14:24:36 UTC
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Sexy is good so is self pleasures what is bad is saying you should hold it all in until marriage.

Abstinence is only good if your DNA is meant to be extinct
Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
2017-01-06 16:06:47 UTC
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Post by Deng Qi Feng
Sexy is good so is self pleasures what is bad is saying you should hold it all in until marriage.
Abstinence is only good if your DNA is meant to be extinct
God doesn't want you to have pleasure.

Sex for the hell of it is an act rebellion. 🍌

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